Successful, confident, happy

 Successful, confident, happy
Kai-fu Lee

Previously, many Chinese students and I share all about how to achieve excellence and excellence, leadership and how to be launched. Recently, in Sina Online chat rooms and I received many emails, I found that more Chinese students need to know not how from good to great, but how to positive from confusion, from failure to success, from inferiority to self-confidence, from the melancholy to joy, from fear to optimism.
An extreme example is the February 2004 took place in Yunnan University Majiajue events. Majiajue brutally murdered his four classmates. But Ma Jiajue was arrested and psychologists The conversation view, he should not be an evil person, but a lost, lack of self-confidence, character enclosed children. He and many college students, eager to know how to be successful, confident and happy.
I This letter is for those who want to succeed but that the success of reach, but always eager to self-pity self-confidence, desire happiness but I do not know why the matter of students happy to see. hope this letter will give the reader an on success The new definition, to encourage readers to understand and recognize themselves to be a happy person. hope this letter will help readers understand the success, confidence, happiness is a virtuous circle: where you can get from a successful self-confidence and happiness, where you can get from the self-confidence happiness and success, from success and happiness where you can be confident.
success is to be the best American writer William
your own. Faulkner said: should care about is that you stronger than you now. look at school grades into the community to see fame and fortune. especially in today's China, people bear the brunt of the pursuit of wealth, all walks of life, the success of the evaluation of a person, more personal wealth indicators. However, with the most good results can contribute to society? Yes fame certainly happy?
true success should be diversified. success may be that you have created new wealth or technology, may be with you for others to a happy, may you get to work the trust of others may also find the back of your self, inoffensive way of life. The success of each person is unique. So, Ling Zhijun, in its progress, and make their every day better than yesterday.
successful first step: take aim in life, be a proactive person
Sina chat room, when friends ask what my goal in life is when I was so answered: live better, more efficient, can bring them happiness and joy. target.
For me, life goals is not a slogan, but my best think-tank, it has helped me many times to solve the problem of work and life. I had to give up work in the United States and moved to China creation of Microsoft Research China, it is because I feel that the latter have a greater influence of work, and my goal in life is more consistent. In addition, when I received a letter from the students lost letters, write them a letter, I will think: goal, but unfortunately he was arrested after the incident realize. He said: What? hh things in the future, at this moment I see, I was wrong. In fact, the meaning of life is that there really is. Ask yourself, full of love of parents, sister, how would think of this? so, he may not go astray by.
so, whether to the truth, in order to influence, or for pleasure, family, morality , serenity, knowledge, innovation hh Once the goals in life, you can target in life, like me, under the guidance of decisively to make major life decisions. each person's life goals are unique. The most important thing is , you have to take the initiative to take their own life goals. But do not be rushed, not in pursuit of so-called goal? many of my classmates asked me what their goals that? I can not answer, because only one person can tell what your goal in life, that person is you. only one place you can find your target, it is your heart.
I suggest you close your eyes, the first one comes in your mind the ideal record, as the answer without thinking is the most sincere. Or, you can look back at your happiest, most of life is a sense of accomplishment, whether there is something in common? they are probably the most motivating your life goal. Furthermore, you can imagine, fifteen years later, when you reach the perfect state of life, what kind of environment you will be in? what kind of work? One of the most fun thing is what? Of course, you may wish to talk about family and friends, listen to their views.
successful second step: to try new field, to explore your interests
you to be the best, the most important thing is to play to their full potential, pursue the most interesting and the most passionate thing. When you are interested in a certain area, You will be walking to class or taking a bath when they never forget it, you're in the area easier to be successful. Furthermore, if you have passion in this area, you may neither eat nor sleep for it, even when you think of an idea to sleep, will jump. this time, you are no longer working for success, but to things only half done, it may achieve nothing. Even if you rely on intelligence or talent to do it well, you definitely do not release all of the potential. So I do not agree with every student to pursue the most popular professional, I think , everyone should understand their interests, passion and ability (that is, emotional intelligence has said the : .1977 year, because of the love of the software, Bill. Gates to give up mathematics. If he left school at Harvard to continue reading and become a professor of mathematics, can you imagine his potential will be suppressed and to what degree? 2002 Bill. Gates, Microsoft's 25 years in leadership, but decided the CEO job to Steve Ballmer, because the only way he can participate in the work of his favorite mm served as chief software architect, specializing in software technology innovation. Although the Bill. Gates was a great CEO, but when he he was named chief software architect, he was the technical direction of the company made a significant contribution and, more importantly, he is more passionate, happier, which also inspired the morale of all employees.
Bill. a good friend of Gates, America's most outstanding investors, Warren. Buffett also recognized the importance of passion. When a student asked him to indicate direction, so he always answered: is the best advice I can give you a. their vision and passion can bring. a well-known American SEM has done a survey and found that while most students want to chase fame and fortune in the admission, but alumni with the most fame and fortune, there are 90% is ideal for chasing admission, rather than chasing fame.
I entered the university, to engage in legal or political work. a year later I found myself not interested in it, only in the middle grades. But I fell in love with computers, programming a day frantically, and soon caught the teacher, the students attention. Finally, one day sophomore year, I made a major decision: to abandon more than a year after the nation's top three in Colombia University Faculty of Law has cultivated itself into credits transferred to Columbia University, an obscure computer system. I told myself, life only once, should not be wasted in the absence of joy, no sense of accomplishment in the field. at that time a friend said to me, will pay a professional to change many costs, but I told them to do a job without passion will pay a higher price. That day, I elated spirits, I promise to myself, each subject three years after the University must take A. If is not a decision that day, and today I will not have in the computer industry's achievements, and I probably just a small town in the United States is neither successful nor happy to be a lawyer.
Even so, I professional passion and my father is far compared. I have always thought his father was a stern man to see his father's favorite until last year the two students (who are now professors), I know how much he loved his father work. his students told me: more than his meager income. two sentences: interest and passion? First, you must separate the interests and talents. do you have the talent to do easy achievements, but do not because they do well to think it is of interest to you. To find the true interest and passion, you ask yourself: For something, you are eager to repeat it, whether happily and successfully complete it? you have been longing for the past is not it? is always quick to learn it? it always makes you satisfy the ? you sincerely from the heart (not just from my mind) love it? you the happiest thing in life and it is not relevant? When you ask yourself, pay attention not to the expectations of your parents, social values and the influence of friends into your answer.
clear if you can answer these questions, then you are lucky, because most of the students in the university four years in exploration or remorse. If you have not found these problems The answer, I have only one suggestion: give yourself the opportunity to reach up to a maximum of choice. I remember I first entered the Carnegie. Mellon's doctoral program, the school has a mechanism that allows students pick teachers. in the first month, every teacher to make the body the stops to attract students. It is because of this mechanism, I was lucky enough to meet my mentor, Professor Reddy, select the subject of my PhD, such a mechanism, but you can get to know their different schools, professional, subject and teacher, and then pick and choose your interest. You can also libraries, networks, seminars, club activities, friends, communication, email, etc. Find hobbies. Only you can try to touch, you can only try to find your favorite.
Ya-Qin Zhang of my colleagues once said: Even if they succeed, they would learn lessons. Therefore, only those who dare to try, is an absolute failure. find of interest.
successful third step: for interest, set milestones, a step forward
find your interest, the next step is to do the development of specific milestones, step by step forward to their own ideals.
First, you should objectively assess their own interests and ideals from the still badly what? is a need to learn a lesson, read a book, make a more sociable person, control your temper or become a better speaker? fifteen years became the best of their own today and what is the difference? or otherwise? you should try to fill these gaps. For example, when I decided my life's purpose is to make me maximize the impact, I found most lacking is my presentation and communication skills. I had a talk to people embarrassing, came fear of speech will be students. I do when TA was especially poor, students and even gave me had a The goal, then give full play to the traditional Chinese virtues mm hard, up and perseverance to complete the goal. For example, I demand of myself to do two speeches a month, and every time my classmates or friends to sit, give me feedback. My own commitment not to rehearse three times, and never came speech. I demand of myself a month to listen to lectures, ask for advice to the excellent speakers. One speaker taught me several ways to overcome fear, he that if you look at the audience's eyes will be strained, you can see the audience's head, and the audience will still think you look at their faces, in addition, is best not to take the paper and hand grip from the fist to come, that, trembling The hand will not cause the audience's attention. When I repeated practice speaking skills, I discovered a lot of their tips, such as: no script, through story-telling way to express, I will perform better, so I remains ready to speech but only in rehearsal use; I found my answer ability than my speech ability, so I usually asked to stay on time to answer questions; I found myself not interested in what can not speak good, so, I not agreed to talk about the subject that I'm not interested. A few years later, the people around me Doukua my speech well, some people even think I was born a good speaker, in fact, I just practice hard the Chinese people, up and perseverance only the traditional virtues.
any target must be realistic, measurable goals, not just stay in the ideological slogans or empty talk. The purpose of setting goals is to progress, do not measure you can not know whether they made progress. So, you have to abstract, and can not be implemented, measurable goals can not be simplified into practical, measurable small goals. For example, a few years ago, I have a goal that I am in the company to expand personal relationships, but and an influential person to eat in the eating process, to this person and then introduce an influential person to me. . the number of people employed in my department is in such a network of people in the know. A year later, I did from these metrics, we see their networks have been significantly expanded.
the development of specific goals to be about their capabilities. goal setting too high of course unrealistic, but the goal must not set too low. on target and timely adjustments to be done: if you exceed their expectations, can expect to improve; If you do not meet their expectations , can be expected to reduce. to reach a goal, you can then develop more challenging goals; fails to embrace that, conscientiously sum up the lessons.
Finally, once again reminded the students, the goal is yours Only you know what he wants. to develop the most appropriate target, take the initiative to upgrade themselves and improve the process in an objective measure of progress, in order to be successful, you can become better.
arrogant self-confidence rather than consciously
confident people dare to try new areas, can more quickly develop their interests and talents, more likely to succeed. self-confident people are more happy, because he will not always worry about and guard against failure.
a lot of people that confidence is a success. a student was the first old, he had confidence. an employee is always being promoted, he also has confidence. But this is only the success of unified and centralized self-confidence.
In fact, confidence is not always is a good thing. do not feel confident will be proud of, it will lose the respect and trust of others. good self-confidence is self-conscious, that is very clear what they can do and can not do. conscious self-confidence, his probability of success very large; conscious people do not self-confident, he can try, but the risk will be frank and tell others. conscious people do not need to enhance self-confidence through success, failure will not result in the loss of self-confidence.
confident The first step: Do not underestimate yourself, give yourself pep
think I'm a failure, and students are a lot of people look down on me hh experienced than I, so I am inferior. capacity. China is an old proverb: could not understand a word of English in class, and once the teacher asked, back Math Camp, to help students learn mathematics. her encouragement and recognition of the students gave me confidence. I began to tell myself that I have a math talent. At this time, I especially want to learn English, because the only way to learn more mathematical knowledge. this kind of education means not only improved my confidence and helped me in every respect has made considerable progress.
Chinese-style education that people continue to overcome the shortcomings of the growth process is, so the teacher is more critical students, for students to make up for the worst of the subjects. Although each subject should have learned Now, discover your strengths. difficult and painful; and a small number of the happiest, most successful people in the secret is ; strengthen their own merits, Long-Chiang Chang said he grew up, Zhou childhood researchers in the the happiest of my life experience, strength exudes a charming, has continued to this day. I found the whole secret of genius, in fact, only six words: Do not underestimate yourself. You have no way an endorsement of the methods used to The cheerleaders, may wish to think about before going to sleep every night, what happened today, something worthy of your pride? you get a good result? you help others? what is beyond your expectations? Who do you praise ? I believe everyone can find a successful day thing, you will gradually find that these Association asked members their favorite memories of a match. He even let the game players and the most proud of an action (such as the clenched fist) linked so that their time to do this action, they will subconsciously think of proud things, and then repeated each time to do this action before the game to success, do not underestimate yourself.
the second step of self-confidence: with determination, courage, self-confidence from the success in obtained from increasing failure in the conscious
when you're feeling confident, no matter how small the success, You will especially look forward to once again be their own or other people's positive, then you need to have enough willpower. as long as you have the stamina, will, like Zhou said, good. You can learn anything you want to learn, this is not the problem you can not learn, but you want to learn. If you have something in his hand a burning desire, you will have a tough non- pull of the spirit, especially when you are, when ordinary people. In previous work, there is no problem of communication in general, but to the president before, always afraid to speak, for fear wrong thing. until one day, to do the restructuring of the company, President convened a meeting more than a dozen people, he asked each person speak in turn. I thought, since some talk about it as the truth be told. So I bravely said: reorganization of the day, regardless of the feelings and thoughts to the staff hh say that. . But when you fear failure, we might think about what you are afraid of losing? the worst fate that? you can not accept it? In the above example, if the president rejected my view, he will not respect me ? not only not others is likely to think that I am ambitious. Moreover, the conscious people will learn from the failure to recognize that they are not fit to do something, and then upgrade their own initiative. So do not fear failure, as long as you diligence, willing to challenge their own limits, you should be proud of their courage.
a confident and conscious, and if they will bravely try new things, and perseverance to do it well, and he success in obtained from the self-confidence, an increase from the failure in the conscious.
confident the third step: consciously set specific objectives, with an open mind to listen to others, develop self-confidence assessment
also set specific goals, step by step way forward. These goals must be measurable. I had left before I speak in the example of President told my daughter to listen to, because her teacher thought she was shy to speak in the schools do not raise their hands, and I want to encourage her vocal . She agreed to try, but she believed that only at the appropriate time, there are only willing to speak the best advice. But I think with the . So, she and I developed a measurable, realistic goals: one hand she held a day and if you have one month bonus. Then, we slowly increase the number of hands. A year later, the teacher noted She spoke to the class with enough confidence.
self-confidence not paranoid, does not allow their own mistakes, or excessive self-centered, loss of an objective position. I have a very smart colleagues, look for his life ; I can never be wrong Because he is almost self-confidence and to live, once a statement that he was wrong, he would say so outright, or simply denied. Although his correct rate of 95%, but 5% of the error so that he lost their credibility and the respect of others. This example tells us that pride of self-confidence or unconsciously self-confidence self-confidence even more dangerous than not.
consciously in emotional intelligence has two levels: both to themselves and to the environment Jieneng , to master the objective and subjective situation. There conscious people will not unduly self-criticism, and will not naively optimistic, they can objectively assess their own. Therefore, they will honestly face the limits of their ability, will not easily accept their own ability to work outside. Of course, they are still willing to accept challenges, but will accept the challenge to do an objective risk assessment. such a person not only for their frank and honest to others also. honest people will face the failure of the trust, because They know that you accept the lesson. honestly face their shortcomings will get the respect of others, because they know you will not be presumptuous. Therefore, conscious people tend to be successful, it is easy self-confidence.
conscious person is not only fair evaluation of their own, but also offered to the people around to their criticism and feedback. They understand that although he is very conscientious, but others saw themselves as more important. the one hand, others saw themselves more objectively, on the other hand, the eyes of others is the real existence of their own (the. So, you have to understand and accept an open mind other people's ideas, but also with other people's ideas as the ultimate goal. For example, my daughter can assess their everyday speech, but in the end, only when teachers and students that she was a cheerful , there is the idea of a student, she achieved the ultimate goal.
get honest feedback, especially negative feedback is not easy. So, you'd better have some brave and honest good friends, and they are willing to You speak the truth in private. Of course, the negative feedback you can not have any complaints, or you to hear the truth of the future. In addition to the feedback in private, the company in the United States, there is a ; opinion surveys, employee supervisors can, under the same survey done in several areas. because the survey is anonymous, it tends to get real opinions, and if a lot of people say you still need to improve in certain areas, such an argument or boss than your own views more persuasive. While in school, no such formal investigation, but you can still best way to understand something you think. My father always taught us to seek the things to the public, means open minded, not to Wells Sky, limited his vision.
Majiajue said: the students themselves wronged, may find cross a friend, confirmed that the students might actually look down on him and understand why, then self-improvement. frank exchange and a true friend can help Majiajue may prevent tragedy.
have conscious will set realistic goals for themselves, an objective measure of their own, and will ask others to help evaluate. so people can continue to enhance their self-confidence, and confidence to avoid the development of pride.
happiness is more important than the success of < br> Research shows that: a good mood to play the most potential; happiness can improve the efficiency, creativity and the probability of correct decisions; happy people have an open mind, willing to help others. but not so much happy to bring success, not as The purpose of that success is happiness. I suggested that students pursue their own ideals and interests, in fact, do their own ideal, are interested in things is a joy. Therefore, success is more than happy should be our ultimate goal. < br> happy first step: to accept your parents, the environment, their total
unhappy people helpless to do some sulk, do not like their parents and teachers do not want to read boring books, do not want to meet the test . For these helpless, and I hope that students can learn to accept them calmly.
at all student said: ; of these students, my answer includes the following two aspects:
First, you should accept your parents, do not because parents do not understand your feelings and self-enclosed. parents to grow in different environments, different ways of thinking, they The definition of success may also be different on your expectations and your own expectations have a greater difference. but their way of life You went fairly long, rich experience than you, you can not prejudiced to exclude them. In addition, You have to understand, the parents of the world who loves you, they are the only people who pay for you unconditionally, you should unconditionally accept your parents. for their children parents often over-idealize and neglect must Most of the parents, in their growth environment, we are more scarce than, less than, they may not have the opportunity to learn how to be a good parents, but their conditions are best. If we despise, reject their parents, no difference is the source of their disrespect for life, then how can we happy?
Second, you can try to change to parents, but you should first ask that you understand and accept your parents? you can understand the parents ideas? When you complain about your parents always expect perfect, do not you also in the hope that parents perfect? Ling Zhijun suggested that: . view ...